Graphic by Adrienne J. Romero / SOC Images.
Mental Health — we all have it, and now we should all strive to be more open and vulnerable about it.
TheraPieces* is a Slice of Culture monthly column by Mendez, who has a Master of Social Work degree in clinical/medical social work from Columbia University.
The world is consistently changing at a rapid pace.
Every day we wake up—possibly with a scheduled routine—ready to put work and give back to society through education, entrepreneurship, employment, activism or more. Some of us come back home or switch the attention towards other important things such as our families, friendships, responsibilities, social extracurriculars and/or other community involvements.
As things begin to move forward more rapidly, we start to notice a shift within ourselves—and possibly our surroundings. This shift entails the feeling of being stuck, lost, unmotivated and mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.
This is burnout.
Burnout can happen if we don’t prioritize our own self-care, or “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health and wellbeing.”
It can especially occur though unexpected life changes that may be too much to bear. It’s great to be passionate about our niches, careers and other personal obligations, especially if it goes towards being a caretaker, changing the world or generally helping others. However, if we neglect our ability to take care of ourselves, we neglect the possibility of contributing back to society, our work and being able to provide for others or those around us. This can lead to heightened feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed and/or anxious.
Rachel Marie Martin, a mother, mental health advocate, blogger and author of “Get Your Spark Back: How To Find Happiness And Reignite Your Life” spoke with Slice of Culture about her own mental wellness journey and how cultivating imperfectionism, self-compassion and living in the moment contributed to her own improvement of personal wellness through her own unexpected life changes.
“Self-care is really saying ‘I respect my part in this story too,’ Martin said. “’Get Your Spark Back’ is all about knowing you are not alone and that you can take the steps to change your life and change others’ lives as well.”
If you are someone experiencing burnout or feeling overwhelmed, here are some steps and key points to take towards navigating self-care and personal wellness amidst a chaotic and unpredictable world:
- The importance of self-care through uncertainty
- Self-care is most crucial during times of uncertainty. We can’t always predict our outcomes and results, but we do have control over how we ground ourselves and how we can control our worrying
- Learn how to be okay without knowing the full end – appreciating the present
- Grounding techniques such as breathwork, counting, journaling, coloring or any activity that requires tunnel-vision focus can be helpful
- Cultivating compassion for ourselves and others
- By practicing self-compassion through positive self-talk, gratitude, self-empowerment, self-patience and compassion with others, it can help alleviate feelings of stress or failure
- It also brings a sense of togetherness
- Letting go of perfectionism/shame
- The idea of having things always be “perfect” and shaming ourselves when they are not can be detrimental to our wellbeing and mental health. By letting go of impossible expectations, such as perfectionism, we allow ourselves to let go of shame, stress and approach our self-growth with compassion and kindness for ourselves
- Cultivating intentions for stability
- Being intentional about our self-care, especially when it comes to building routines, setting boundaries and how exactly we want to contribute to our personal wellness can help bring a sense of normalcy and control into our lives
- Having intentions for the day, as well as understanding the ability to be flexible, can also help let go of unnecessary stress and worry
- Community and outside connections for support
- Self-care is also knowing when you need to ask for help from others
- Seeking support from family, friends or other groups of support can help foster meaningful connections as well as help alleviate the feeling of being alone or isolated during turbulent times
- Knowing when to ask for help will help you improve giving back to others
- Practicing coping tools to master the act of self-care
- Mindfulness, meditation and other grounding techniques can be helpful towards the improvement of self-care
- Coping tools can also be nourishing our body and selves through exercise, nutrition, going outdoors or putting time into a personal hobby or activity that brings enjoyment and tranquility
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In a fast-paced world, it can be hard to think about what we need for ourselves in those moments.
“I truly believe that when you are stuck in a perpetual spin of shame, so many of us will start to feel lost, the stuck feeling that we have, but it’s almost like extending the hand and saying ‘I believe in you, I believe in your story and I believe you can do these things,'” Martin added.
Her book encourages and inspires readers to tell their own story in what are the lessons to be learned when cultivating self-care, letting go of the frustration that brings shame and getting the sparks back to build joy and compassion.
You can find and purchase Martin’s book on Amazon or on her website FindingJoy.net.
If you want a specific topic related to mental health covered, Daniella Mendez may be reached at dmendez@athenapsych.com.
